‘No Faith in the System’ is the title of a book by Sister Sarah Clarke which documents her work with the Irish prisoners of war serving sentences in British goals and their families. Across three decades, it was a work we shared together and wisely only together. For much of the time it was a sensitive and dangerous work, it certainly was not a poplar work. It was a work that, placed us both in that immensely challenging place of paradox – the very point where opposites come together. Here I’m referring to ourselves and to ‘the system’ of which neither of us had faith.
As then, I am often asked by many, how do I manage to work in a system when at the same time clearly, think different to it, behave differently to it and often oppose it? Indeed, there was a time when both church and state attempted to stop our work. Thankfully they did not succeed. Sr. Sarah worked up until her death in February 2002 and I of course have continued I(beyond retirement), albeit in a clinical and not political role. Working in ‘the system’ being part of ‘the system’ and remaining different to it is a strange, often uncomfortable place to be; it is a place of true paradox. How I achieve that from day to day? to be honest I have not thought too much about it, I’ve been too busy being me and I guess therein is the answer.
Paradox exists because of difference and never once have I ever compromised on my difference from ‘the system’. Over time I have in fact made it my selling point. ‘The system’ is very predictable, it is not creative, is rigid, often unthinking, not connected, remote and often without humility. Being true to myself, my true self and all I encompass, is and has always been the opposite of all of that. What allows me to work from this place of difference is a willingness to be responsive and not predictable, to creatively think and act outside of the box, to be flexible, to have a mind which is curious and questioning, to be available for connection and attachment, to be present and not remote, to forever be willing not to know and remain open to the humility of learning. As long as I’m being and doing those things, as long as I am faithful to my difference, I can absolutely have no faith in the system but be very much part of it.
Of course, it is not just me, I am not alone in ‘the system’. Surrounding me is a formidable range of inspiring, committed, creative and deeply human people who are also being faithful to their difference. ‘The system’ may well try to cover them up, silence them and challenge them, but crucially I have learned that they are there. It is they who make the paradox bearable. Last year, I and others hosted a bringing together of criminal justice agencies and sexual health providers to celebrate some of the early developments of creating a compassionate criminal justice response to chemsex related crime. One of my senior officers was asked how was it possible to be compassionate with people who had caused great harms? Her response explained how even when working within ‘the system’ it was still possible for her to work to get the best sentence for that person. The best sentence being a just response for the victim and a rehabilitative process of change for the criminal justice client. Again; wonderful and inspiring evidence of paradox in action.
To remain true to your individual difference in the context of ‘the system’ is not easy, is not comfortable and often does not allow you to be popular. But since when was anything achieved by being popular. Being popular may well stroke the ego, but the end results often fail and usually do so by means of collusion. No, being faithful to difference often means a fight, often voicing and questioning the unthinkable – that is not the path to popularity or fame. Just last week an unthinking, uncreative, non-responsive, disconnected and arrogant meeting process decided to cast an individual away from their local responsibility and indeed if they had their way to cast the person concerned into a process of repeated mistrust, shame and vulnerability. It was not comfortable to stand up to that powerful group, to voice an alternative and to speak for his vulnerability and powerlessness. It was not easy to get my voice heard when it was saying something very different and opposite to what people wanted to hear, this too is paradox in action.
In the 40 or so years of working in the place of paradox one most powerful thing I have learned is not to be silent. In the early days of fighting for the release of the Maguire family, those convicted of the Guildford and Birmingham bombings, Judith Ward, Gussepie Conlon and others, no one believed us. This was long before the likes of MP’s, journalists and noble Dukes got involved. Cardinal Hume himself, told us to ‘go away’ and not to have anything to do with ‘thugs and murderers’. So often we would return to the convent from the rich and powerful, from the courts or from the prison gates and wonder if we should carry on. At such times Sarah would remind me that if we did nothing else at all, we should make sure that no one could ever turn around and say they ‘did not know’ those words of wisdom, all these years later, echo in my ears and my soul several times most days. I may struggle with the place of paradox but I remain committed to the task of never being silent.
By my desk is a print made by Sr Sarah. It is a crucified figure bowed down holding its own crown of thorns. Printed over this powerful image are her words ‘A spirit thus outraged will ever turn and come again demanding justice’ It invites me every day to remain outraged.
Br Stephen Morris fcc
