It’s not unusual for me to have been the first person to inform a man who has committed a sexual crime that he is to be placed on the sex offender register. At the start of a court assessment, it’s one of the first things I’ve learned to check out. The many other criminal justice professionals dealing with the individual before me may well have avoided the issue. I get that. The responses are varied; tears, sobbing, shouting, screaming, laughing and perhaps the most common “fuck off you cunt”. It’s usually a substantial wait before some resemblance of calm is restored.
I’m good at waiting.
Bewilderment often accompanied with incredulous laughter is nearly always the response I witness in men who have committed the specific crimes of sexual assault, exposure, outraging public decency. It is these men who often say to me “I just don’t see it”, “I just don’t get it”, “I don’t understand it”. In terms of justice, how they perceive their behaviour doesn’t matter of course. How it sits in their mind; ‘groping’, ‘flashing’, ‘grabbing’, ‘having a bit of fun’ ‘trying it on’ ‘drunken tomfoolery’ whatever they call it does not stop it from being a serious sexual crime. After all, it’s why they’ve ended up talking to me.
These men (and sometimes women) literally think they have done no wrong. Neither do they acknowledge that they have, by their behaviour, created a victim. They struggle to comprehend that someone has been violated and caused all the psychological consequences that defines being a victim.
As I explain, “it is likely you will be placed on the sex offenders register”, I usually follow it up with a question “can you tell me why you think that may be?” Few are able to answer.
Month by the month the media is not short of examples of men, notable men, famous men, men often literally in the spotlight, powerful men who, even in the face of immense evidence, still claim they have done no wrong and cannot allow themselves to answer such a question. Just look at the statements of denial they make in an often-pathetic attempt to defend themselves. “It was just a bit of fun”.
The response to these predatory men by those who often rush to support them (the list is varied but predictable, Government ministers, fellow celebrities, naïve partners, fellow predators, those also invested in collusion, etc) gives us an indication as to why the men I work with struggle to take responsibility for the crime(s) they have committed and the victim(s) they have created. Stark truth is, in relation to sexual crime, it can at times be difficult to find anyone willing to name predatory behaviour for what it actually is..
Some find it possible to joke about ‘groping’. Much like exposure, exhibitionism or outraging public decency these crimes are often reduced to a music hall style humour of having a titter about flashing etc. In this process of minimisation, the denial of the fact that a victim has been created gets writ large.
Let’s be clear groping, ‘flashing’ pinching or touching a bottom / breast, crotch etc is a sexual crime. These behaviours are sexual assaults. It does not become anything less just because the individual doing it had ‘had too much too drink’ or ‘embarrassed himself’. No, it is a sexual crime because it is a transgression, an invasion of personal boundary. It is a sexual crime because it is lacking in consent, and it is a sexual crime because it is an abuse of power.
In such cases, it is not for a government committee’s, a management board, an internal private investigation etc, to investigate, that is the responsibility of the Police.
No matter how much some may titter and no matter how much these men protest about their self-concern, it does not change the fact that they have created victims. Minimisation and all the denial in the world cannot, should not allow for a hierarchy of offences. All sexual crimes have victims. Neither should we think that their behaviour would have occurred in isolation, no, my experience tells me that there would have been other occasions and they will have other victims.
It’s not fun telling a man that he is to be placed on the sex offender register. The implications of such are massive, life changing. But when there is such little regard for what constitutes a sexual offence, when some men think that because they get a bit pissed, that its ok to have a bit of a laugh … a bit of a grope or, as in many of these cases, that it’s all about them, then such a register, such holding to account is needed and is right. The victims of powerful, famous and well known men, as with all others, are deserving of this justice.
As for those who seek to defend them, they too must be held to account, even when they have or are living their lives in the spotlight. Their silence, collusion and acceptance of these crimes can only be considered as permission giving. Sexual offenders the world over depend on exactly the likes of all those that, like the offender themselves, cannot bear to face the horrific truth.
Br. Stephen Morris fcc
